A Call to Action: Ending Trauma-Related Stigmas

A tough nut to crack.

Speaking out about trauma, whether in an effort to heal oneself or to help others, is a double-edged sword. For me, there is a healing component to writing about it that feeds my soul. Also, I truly hope I will eventually reach my targeted audience so I can make a difference in the lives of those who need it, which is my overall purpose.

Conversely, there is tremendous risk involved by narrowly focusing on trauma. I am being vulnerable about my own experiences in a way that challenges all my insecurities and breaks down all the safety barriers I have built around me. And I am simultaneously opening myself up to the stigmatization that trauma survivors are subject to.

While the topic has gained considerable traction, we are miles from achieving the level of acceptance and support that it deserves. The overriding response is deafening silence. The truth in the silence makes me question my purpose for taking this on. Vulnerability is not all it’s cracked up to be when we, as a society, are still reinforcing harmful stigmas surrounding childhood trauma.

There is so much talk about increasing support and resources for those affected by trauma. We see campaigns aimed at raising awareness and erasing the stigmas. The effort to shift an archaic thought process is admirable. And necessary. But it also requires a genuine belief in the evolved premise and an earnest attempt to act on it.

This is where the general population still falls short. Even as we talk a good game about the need to provide better support for survivors, the associated stigmas rage on.

Words are easy, however, the ability to back them with belief and action are the true test of credibility.

A misalignment of spoken words vs. unspoken doubt   

We are hearing the right words of support for trauma survivors, yet there is still an undercurrent of judgment and doubt. The harmful stigmas and stereotypes related to trauma still exist, as evidenced by behaviors and inaction.

Some examples of the ‘right’ words we say vs. actual attitudes:

“Let’s expand support and acceptance for those struggling with the effects of childhood trauma!” (Until someone actually shows signs or symptoms. Then we’ll turn our backs.)

“Let go of your shame! It wasn’t your fault!” (But don’t talk about it out loud.)

“Be vulnerable! Speak your truth!” (But don’t embarrass me. Not everyone needs to know.)

“It’s important for you to heal from your past trauma!” (But only if it doesn’t inconvenience me).

“I commend your efforts to heal and I understand how hard it must be!” (But don’t let on that you are struggling because it makes others uncomfortable).

“That must have been  incredibly difficult for you to go through!” (But why can’t you just get over it and move on?).

C’mon. We can do better. We need to do better.

Trauma vs. “real” illness

When someone announces that they have cancer, the compassion and public support comes flooding in. The words of encouragement, prayers, meal trains and offers to watch the kids, get groceries, mow the lawn, and to drive you to appointments are plentiful. These are kind and supportive gestures in a critical time of need.

Cancer is a terrible and often deadly disease. No one asks for it. No one deserves it. It is an all-too-common occurrence in our society.

Similarly, trauma (particularly PTSD or C-PTSD) is a terrible affliction that can lead to deadly outcomes if left untreated. No one asks for it. No one deserves it. It is an all-too-common occurrence in our society. (See where this is going?)

The physical effects of trauma can be very similar to those of cancer. Exhaustion, chronic physical pain, nausea and headaches are common for both. The effects of trauma can result in extreme anxiety and depression, which can make it impossible to do simple tasks around the house or care for the kids. But the supportive  gestures are noticeably absent for those battling the effects of trauma.

My intent is not to minimize the significance of cancer or it’s far-too-prevalent number of deaths. I have lost loved ones to this terrible disease. But why do we dismiss mental illness so easily? Why are we not doing more to help?

Did you know that in 2021, suicide was the second leading cause of death for ages 5-24, with cancer being fourth? In the 24-44 age group, suicide was the fourth leading cause of death. Cancer was fifth (2023 National Healthcare Quality and Disparities Report, National Library of Medicine).

Read those stats again. And again.

Those who experience childhood trauma have significantly increased odds for dying by suicide. The harmful stigmas surrounding trauma are contributing to these statistics. With the appropriate treatment and support, perhaps many of these deaths by suicide could have been prevented.

The effects of trauma tend to be over simplified and are often assumed to be completely within the control of the survivor. If only it were that easy to just “be happy” or “get over it” or “move on”. There would be no need for therapy (or therapists). But this is an ignorant, uninformed stand to take, not to mention condescending and harmful.

We need to do better.

Fear Leads to Silence

Not only is there a stigma related to childhood trauma in general, but there is also a stigma associated with talking about it.

Many survivors fear they won’t be believed, that they will be blamed, asked why they didn’t fight back, or told they deserved it. They are often accused of attention seeking. The magnitude of the trauma they experienced is minimized. And this is just a sampling of the backlash they might face. Sadly, and far too often, their fears are justified.

Instead of a genuine response of, “What can I do to help?” the overriding implication is, “What is wrong with you?”

When we feel we have to remain in the shadows and can’t speak out for fear of a negative or demeaning reaction, shameful feelings increase. When subjected to disbelief about the facts of the trauma, there is a high risk of being re-traumatized. We have to stop reinforcing these harmful stigmas surrounding trauma. I say this not only as a trauma survivor, but as someone who has lost two of seven cousins to suicide. That is a staggeringly high percentage. The implications of this topic are intensely personal for me.

We need to do better.

What can be done to change perceptions?

Take a moment to consider your beliefs about trauma and how you have responded to someone who opened up to you about their struggles.

Did you exhibit compassion and a desire to help in a way that was meaningful to them? Were you clear in your expression of unconditional love and support? Did you listen to them intently and truly hear what they had to say? Have you made a sincere effort to acknowledge their circumstances? Do you have a sound understanding of their treatment plan? How has your environment influenced your gut response in these situations? What can you do to improve your responses in the future?

Start by acknowledging that trauma and its effects are real.

What if our default was to believe and support instead of to doubt and dismiss?

We have a long way to go and there is room for tremendous improvement. But we have to stop the persistence of the harmful stigmas surrounding trauma. We need action, not just words.

WE NEED TO DO BETTER.